It matters.

"What we do echoes an eternity" - Russell Crowe in some movie

I've been having an urge to write for some time about this. Mostly out of frustration that I'm not moving faster on getting my novel done. But I really like this subject area, so maybe this is part of my creative process.

I'm going to write about computer games and meaning of life. This is not a journalistic article, reasoned consideration of multiple perspectives. I'm going to lay out a point of view, that is radically different to the norm. I'm going to preach it at you. Parts of it may sway you to see things a little differently, but make no mistake I have an agenda so in fair warning, be wary of what I say.

Now some background context before we begin. Me, I played pong when I was 4 years old. Yep I was there right from the start of computer gaming. By 8 I was teaching myself to program in Applesoft and Atari basic. Even a friends Sinclair. I wrote my first bad game from scratch, not using anyones code at 11 (a text adventure JUST LIKE ZORK...but not as cool), and at 14 had written in Apple Pascal an animated game where you had to move around and dodge some scary looking smiley faces. My best friend at the time Ben thought it was super cool, but I think it was only cool because I wrote something that worked and it was visible - you could see the code turned into pictures that moved when you did something and there was consequence of your choices. Interesting side note, I recently found out that the weird lanky blond haired teenager that lived next door to Ben that I would nod at sometimes when going to visit him was Julian Assange. Small world. It sort of makes sense maybe that I felt I recognised him when he went all big in the media. The remote connection to Julian is irrelevant, but he isn't to this topic, but more on that later.

Ben and I parted ways, He was socially gifted, popular. He wanted to skateboard. I wanted to build a laser. I bought books on the physics of lasers, and approached it like learning a computer programming language. A lot of awkward conversations on the phone to wholesale science supply distributors "and what are you saying you need a laser for again?". I wanted to not just be able to follow instructions like it was hobby kit. Wanted to really understand how it works so I could McGuyver it - build it out of stuff I can get my hands on easily. Ben's skateboarding went really well. I built some prototypes. The stopping block was getting a hold of a ruby rod. I had the lights and reflection system worked out, just needed the core bit...

Publicly available lasers became available the next year. LED lasers. Sonofabitch. My friend Ray who was all into guns got a laser targeting scope. I was sort of looked at as though all my efforts of learning was a bit of a waste.

This is where I became aware of the divide. There are skateboarders and laser builders. Skateboarders had real tangible value. Laser builders people politely smiled at.

Instead of seeing the light and buying a skateboard, I turned inwards. Read more. Taught myself this new programming language called C. The advanced concepts of use of pointers in C were fortunately easily built on the knowledge I had gained from Object Pascal, where you have abstraction through pointers to pointers. What is important in object oriented programming is not the code of the data itself, but the relationships between them. Brain starts expanding with new kinds of thinking.

I like to quote one of several cards or conversations from ex-girlfriends. "Its me or the computer" ideally I tell people this story when Im near or sitting in front of my computer. The best card was a drawing of the cartoon cat Garfield taking a chainsaw to a computer. Lets just say the gaming went to a level a little beyond a healthy hobby.

My favourite game back then as I'm around 18-21 is a game called Spaceward Ho!. Spaceward Ho! was interesting because it was all about resource management and making economic choices that were not simple, but most importantly it was done in a universe populated by both real and computer controlled players. We bought a heap of second hand MacPlus computers on top of my IIfx and SE and all my friends would come over for "Beer and Ho!". We would progressively drink a carton of beer (we were young so it didn't take much) and start our Machiavellian collusion's and alliances of convenience. It also helped that when you moved your fleets in Ho! A whip crack and a cowboy "yeehaw" sound would play. This goes very well with drunk teenagers.

Now what was interesting with Spaceward Ho! is it was programmed by some university nerds. They built, while not an AI, a simplistic self learning capability into the game. The "AI" of the computer controlled players got smarter. And nastier. Different AI players would have different personalities. There was one who always wanted to ally with you right before she invaded. Yeah, we learnt their names. We kept the same learning file or AI file over 4 years of weekly drunken donut and pizza eating games that stretched from 5pm to about 2am. It got to a point where despite being seasoned hardened Spaceward Ho vets, we would reduce the number of AI players from the original 20 down to about 4. Nothing evoked fear more taking on one of our now super AIs alone. Largely probably a beer fueled reputation but interesting nevertheless.

I got in touch with one of the guys who wrote Spaceward Ho! about 10 years ago. The game never really achieved a lot of commercial success, but I told him some of our stories and he was really excited to hear about it. I don't think he fully appreciated what I tried saying about how damn scary the AIs had become however. I felt really good talking to him though.

Simulation Theory

Yes this had to raise its ugly head. So lets get it out of the way now. No I'm not going to bang on about how we are actually living in a computer simulation ergo computer games are no different to reality. Some sort of science type stuff on this: http://arxiv.org/abs/1210.1847

The short answer, is that it doesnt matter. That does not mean don't think about it, explore it, see if you can go all Matrix and dodge bullets or make a spaceship that go FTL because of it. But for here, now it doesn't matter either way. Bigger things are at stake.

So hopefully we are done with this point. I have opinions, views, but they are as close to fact as what mysticism is. It will cheapen what needs to be said to focus on this and get hung up on it. So, the theory that we exist in a computer simulation is an interesting one, and apparently has some scientific validity. 98%  probability that we are in a simulation not an original universe based on Moores Law. I'm not a scientist, not going to try be one - even an internet scientist, but I do have some understanding of science including my misuse of the word Theory above and also that if you believe in creationism you really cannot contribute much to the modern world.

Perception Is Reality

Lets draw it back a little to something very human. Perception. I'm currently researching valuation models for networks. No not computer networks (although it could apply to them) but people networks. I'm doing some analysis of powerful people in industry and their influence or value of their networks. To give some additional context, I work in Management Consulting. An industry almost solely focused on perception.

I detest the statement "Perception is reality". Perception is valuable yes. If you have nothing else to offer, indeed it makes up your reality. But perception is not reality. Reality is reality. The ability of the average, the mean to perceive value can be disconnected from reality. Following others perceptions

There is an Australian ... singer... called Delta Goodrem. She was(is?) a judge on a reality TV show called "The Voice" where the judges select amateurs to join their stable of talent singers to try win the competition. Delta is simply incapable of making a choice of talent despite being in the industry over a decade without looking at the other judges reaction first. In my world view she isn't a singer. She is popular. What she does is political first and simply cannot ever make a choice that puts technically optimal outcome first. What I mean is she is incapable of discovering talent, only recognising talent after it has been discovered.

As the founder of the Facebook group "Shut Up Delta" - which still gets people requesting to join well after each season of The Voice ends, not everyone likes a pretty popular girl. Your welcome to join, oh and there you go, an easy way to DOXX me heh.

An actual talented singer who makes choices based on insight not popular opinion. Both are famous, starring in the same TV Show, and both have had sex with famous people. One however gets called "homewrecking whore" and the other a responsible parent despite being divorced. Yes Delta is a cancer survivor, its hard to go 3 minutes into anything involving her without knowing this. Delta's takeaway from this is to not get photographed with married men, because perception is reality darling. And she successfully did this, stop getting photographed that is. What I detest is not the immorality, its the hypocrisy.

#Gamergate

I think #gamergate is awesome. It is a fault line of these two worlds. Lets call it for what it is, on one side you have a woman who made really really shit games sorry a game about depression. She also fucked around on her live in partner all the while telling him hes crazy, honesty and loyalty are everything she could never do that.

Oh and she just happened to be fucking successively up the career chain for her area in computer gaming.

The boyfriend finds out, writes a small blog post about what a manipulative bitch she is. Yeah I used the word bitch. And Im a feminist. I can still hate bitches. Some of the most misogynistic sexist women haters I ever met were women.

The blog post gains traction, particularly with how it ham fistedly tries to point out how the gaming industry media is being manipulated into writing good reviews, or at least not bad ones about absolute shit games. Its not a gender thing. I have a daughter. She games. Not not some bullshit depression quest or chasing rainbows with fairys. When she broke up with her boyfriend she self installed world of warcraft, stole my credit card, set up an account and is busy raiding. Shes a gamer. She also thinks Anita Saarkesian is bad for women. My daughter has also never had to leave home despite playing online games for 10 years, has a tumblr and twitter and tells boys and men online they are stupid sexist asshole idiots on a daily basis. Did I mention shes a woman?

Now whats interesting, is that how it got spun. It turned from clearly a woman who did a really bad personal life thing. I dont give a shit about that. I probably wouldn't date her in the future if I knew that, but in the grand scheme of things who gives a fuck. The points about computer gaming, and how journalists letting who sucked their dicks steer the direction of the industry a little - well thats something that matters. Worthy of serious discussion and investigative journalism.

But when you can't code a good game, your reputation, ergo perception is everything if you have decided thats the industry thats going to feed you.So she comes out swinging. Its about hating women. Its so unfair. Im the victim in this online harassment.

Media loves this shit. So do trolls.

"Gamer and actor Felicia Day has had her personal details posted online just minutes after making her first public statement about Gamergate – in which she expressed fear about saying anything at all, in case she was targeted as a result." The Guardian

I actually found this funny. Felicia Day is the closest thing I have seen to Delta Goodrem in gaming. She saw that the anti-gamers were winning, thought that's because the media all said the gamers were bad she should come out and ATTACK THE VERY PEOPLE WHO ARE YOUR MARKET AND GAVE YOU A CAREER. Yeah we do not forgive. We do not forget. Don't try that bullshit I didn't say anything. Yes you did. Saying you were scared as a woman when no one had ever mentioned you, thought of you, that's making a statement. That said, this sort of protest does not warrant direct action, so IMO doxxing is going too far. Ordering you pizza and uploading footage of it to youtube maybe would have been classier.

BTW please dont get me wrong. Im not saying that as a woman you cant make a statement. In fact as a feminist, in my view it is very important you should be empowered to make all the statements you want, and not make statements you dont want. BUT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE OPINIONS TOO. And as you should know in the gaming industry, the real gaming industry, those people have poor social skills, poor hygiene and are not good at expressing themselves. So they can come off a little emotional and over the top. But as a GAMER you would know all this, which is why you would know internet trolls and hyperbolic rants like this one are not threats. YOUR VIEWS ON GAMERGATE HAVE DOOMED YOU AND YOUR OFFSPRING FOR 100 GENERATIONS THE WRATH OF ANONYMOUSE. I guess you should move house again. I mean it was literally said right there along with implied sexist commentary that a non specific threat was made. It was published on the internet. This makes it totally legit and real. Btw. I'm not aware of any actual physical assualts, or yes rapes committed by a Gamergate supporter. But I do know the violence and rapes committed by the types of men you want them to emulate are real. That we should stop being in the words of an NFL player support of them terribly women by the internet haters (NFL player lecturing fucking me on how to treat women, omfg i laughed so hard) who called gamer gaters "limp wristed" (oh so posting opinions on specific women who sell out, or literally suck cock for professional networking reasons is bad but making blanket homophobia ok). Oh and hes a gamer too apparently. So he has a legit opinion. I suspect he is a gamer in the way that I had a black friend once so I can make a comment...  but who knows maybe an NFL player spend 40 hours a week flying spaceships, building spreadsheet models and setting up web sites for his computer game. Maybe. I FUCKING DOUBT IT.

So anyway. #gamergate. Now what gamergate does it creates the fault line between Delta Goodrems and Seals. People who are swayed by popularists, and in fact want to be part of popularism. And then the hard fucking core profesionals like Seal who are just badass, dont get much recognition but when the shit goes down they can lead a party of 20 orcs, Tauren and undead into the dungeon and kick that dragons ass. Yes Felicia, I know you can do that too, but I'm talking metaphorically. Metaphorically you cannot do it because you are one of the "oh, my boyfriend plays computer games, on his playstation, so im like totally a gamer now. Check out my new fake glasses". Whats extra sad about you is that you could be in team seal but choose team Delta.

Perception is a very powerful tool, particularly in this networked age. It is also the primary go to tool FOR TALENTLESS HACKS. As a general rule of thumb if someone is popular, they are probably a talentless hack (not always, but to spot the difference requires YOU to not be a talentless hack). Unless they have a fuck you attitude to everyone and everything. In which case they are so awesome that despite being an asshole their awesomeness shines through. The rest of us live in between. But we tend to one way or the other. Economics of specialisation...

This is What We Do

Computer games. Why I have opened this post with all this... other stuff... is because computer games is a word that means many things - things with very different meanings.

Megan Fox "Gamer"

By now, with my rambling background stories, you should have enough datum to make an assessment of how I react to claims from Megan Fox's publicity machine that she is a gamer because she played Guitar Hero.

So lets dispense with this. This is not a gamer.

What an Actual Gamer does:

Just to give a sense of whats going on there, the really big space ships are valued in the $1,000's of USD worth of effort and time to acquire. This is not a lightweight activity for "I game" people. It requires being very serious and managing a very very large amount of complexity ranging from economics, politics, communication and leadership. Failure of any one of these, or more correctly not being as good as your enemy leads to real consequence loss. Success leads to power, wealth, prestige and attracting more enemies - not computer enemies, skilled, devious humans who are networking for your downfall.

Its interesting because even though it is virtual, it is real. You are genuinely tested. You get better. Improve. Always have more to learn.

What is this doing to a generation?

Species split. No not over one generation. But its happening. Its real science. Its not popular, and its very VERY political / social suicide to talk about it, but the species is splitting. But the thing is, the people that refuse to talk about it are themselves broken into 2 camps -

1) stupid, ignorant, naive or short term focused people
2) what I call the Operators.

Operators do not necessarily know about species split at a conscious or logical level, but they are instinctively pursuing this agenda. They believe that the wealthy, healthy and hyper social will become the future species. All the other humans will die out or become a sub species. In the future everyone will be a movie star with the brains of Bill Gates, entrepreneurialism of Richard Branson, beauty of a catwalk model and the health of an Olympic Athlete.

They are wrong of course. But you need to have actually read a science book to understand why this world view is doomed to evolutionary roadkill. Its already started, but the popular people find it unpopular to talk about so it doesn't make it into popular discussion or facebook. You wont see a Movie about it that isn't a lame independent scifi or where its just the backdrop for the hot sexy buff hero to save the smart sassy emotionally in control and balanced heroine, Its not popular to talk about the real near future extinction of the human race. Especially when evolutionary principles points clearly in this direction.

Now I would say, you wont see a TED Talk on this either, because TED talks jumped it years ago and are now just rambling pseudo science motivational speakers motived by a need to either stick something on their resume, or feel they are giving something back because they have success guilt or its a KPI on their personal performance.

But there is a TED talk on this. And the guy giving it isnt popular, or cool. He just knows a lot about this and thinks a lot about it, oh and happens to be smart. So here is his TED Talk

 Now what is particularly interesting in the Human species split, is that our ancestors split from their relatives over time. Apparently it was a catalyst of being about 1% of  the host population. His comments on Autism is very interesting to me. Autism is now over 1% of the population. Autism has evolutionary advantages for dealing with complex technology and vast amounts of information.

So rather than the future species looking like the sophisticated photoshopped interviewee's of GHQ Magazine and Marie Claire, it might look more like 4chan.