12 November 2014

Patience & Prayer for Superior Lowsec Trolling

All quiet on the Matari front.

Last 2 weeks has been pretty gentle in the Minmatar, Amarr warfront. That of course has not stopped me losing about 2bn in ships... I just have a talent that way.

Yesterday whilst "working" from home I did perform a kill I am very proud of.

There was a warning callout on Militia channel basically a "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THERE IS SNIPERS ON THE GULM-EGMAR GATE!!!!" although I exaggerate a little.

I had become very pissed off with the loss of my 300+m isk Navy Harb to a gate camp that I intentionally engaged. I'm used to different timezones rather than US prime during the week, so didnt expect they would batcall everyone within a 2 system radius. Anyways, I killed one t1 frigate. Op success. A matari soul saved.

So sitting in Amarr after, with the Jita scammers plying their trade (they are still Jita scammers even when in Amarr. Hi Bardam), I went fuggit. Lets build me another stratios.

2bn isk later (I also buy implants to suit each ship I fly, go hard or go home) on top of the already 1bn isk in implants, and I was good to go. So back to Arzad.

Then the hyper frantic warning about the dreaded sniper battlecruisers.

Hmm..... havnt done this before.... but I sort of do something similar to people plexing larges.... wonder if I can take out a battlecruiser sniper in my Stratios.

Set destination Egmar. Lets go.

Arrive Gulm. No sign of any merciless sniping pirates. Ah must be on the Egmar side, and I would have to jump into their prepared sniping position. Oh well. Isk is there to be spent for the greater good of the advancement of Amarrian faith for the salvation of souls across New Eden. So I guess I had better get to doing some gods work.

Jump in to Egmar.

3 Nagas, 1 Oracle. Each 149-179km from the gate. But in different directions.
I take my time looking at them, checking ranges and approximate positions in space relative to the gate.

I align and cloak as damn fast as possible. No lock. Ok that went a little better than I thought it might.

I wait.

After about a minute they rotate tactical positions. Oracle Warps back and down, Nagas do some swapping. No one is in a position that another was in.

Oh this is interesting. They are being clevarr. 2 can play that game.

Now the big stress for me is there is a lot of alpha DPS here in play. 4 Battlecruisers armed with Battleship weapons. My Stratios has some tank, a few minmatar pilots can attest to that, but I have not tested it at this level before. I guess at least they are not close range neuting...

So I slow boat to the spot I mentally marked the Oracle as locating when I first arrived in system. Made an educated guess that was his preferred primary location. Slow crawl.... 150km... crawling... crawling.....

They all warp off.

Options. They leave to go do other things with their lives? They worried the stratios that cloaked was still insystem and had not been heard of since? They find someone else to blow up?

Decide they may do this as part of their safety rotations. So I keep slow boating to the same spot. And slow boating....

Naga. Naga. Oracle. Naga. Back on grid. And Oracle is right where I have been slow boating to.

I notice the Nagas are nearly 200km from this position. This is good.

Oracle aligns, and starts to slow boat towards the gate, very leisurely. Towards me.


20km range.. do I uncloak? nah. Stay on target! Red-5 is da man.

12km. Ok easily within scram range of my faction dark blood scram once I can target.


Deploy Gekkos

Lock target. Nice and fast.

He is scrammed. Hit him with Blasters. Gekkos go in.

Boom.. Scoop Loot. Align. Out.

Not even locked by his buddies.

Not a word said by anyone in local.


Travelling back to Arzad, its a lot of jumps. I have a habit of checking out where the action is along the way. Big advantage of being in a brawler fit cloaky is you have a lot of fight options, and dont need to run from much.


There are 2 macho pirates having a slanging match with each other in local. Something penis size and moms, ok im paraphrasing, talking about how each other is weak for not engaging.

Now pirates are a part of life in Low Sec, and more so in Faction War zones. To me of course they are a scourge that must be cleansed from the future holy lands of Amarr. No second thoughts about their destruction crosses my mind.

I scan around. Can only find a Cormorant on scan. He is at a small. Is he inside or out?

Warp to small. Close to gate but not too close. No sign of him outside, scan inside, he is there. Scan again he is not.



Corm arrives on gate. I start angling towards him. At 6km range Im ready to decloak.

Hawk arrives on grid. Its the other pirate. I wait.

They scram each other.

Ok nows a good time to engage.


"omg your so lame couldnt fight me on your own" cries the Hawk pilot in local.

Scram the cormorant. Deploy light drones. He is torn apart. Boooooom.

I think he was too busy shitting himself to respond to the Hawk pilot.

Scram the Hawk. He isnt aligned because he has been fighting.

Interestingly dual ASB Hawk can last a few seconds against a 1k dps Stratios. But in the end, you cant hold back divine judgement.

Well thats it. A day in the life of edeity. I think there was about 3 or 4 other fights, but nothing memorable.


Its damn simple son. You need faith to power your lasers. Join an Amarrian faction war corp, pray every day, and beat the shit out of anyone in real life that tells you roleplay is for fags. Besides, fags are cool.

Also you can watch my horrible video again. Shut up. I liked making it.